Academyalized
by Fighter McKnight
Summary: I'M NOT ON DRUGS MOM! THOSE ARE ITACHI'S DRUGS! Inspired by Twirligigs and Gizzards.What happens when Naruto characters go to an academy where the owners are 'tards. FIND OUT!R&R'a sauce. Get it?
1. The OMGIBNDIYSGDBBUGSV Your Face?

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or the song, "Institutionalized", BUT I do own the trademark term, 'Oasis'. (If you haven't 

guessed, that's what I call GaarSaku.)

The "Acadmeyalized theme is 'Institutionalized'".

The first day

"Well, I guess it could be worse, I could be going to a school with Team 7 in it." Gaara sighed. "Hey, don't diss Sasuke,

he's really cute!" Temari interjeceted loudly. "I thought I told you to stop interupting my angry ranting, Temari." Gaara

eplied. "Besides, it doesn't matter, Konohagakure and Sunagakure are kept seperate, Gaara." Kankurou stated.

"Attention to all Shinobi attending the academy, Sunagakure and Konohagakure will no longer have seperate rooms and

classes." "NOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Shouted Gaara, in slo-mo.

"Hey, Gaara!" Gaara suddenly heard the most annoying thing ever shout in his ear, Uzumaki Naruto. "Kcuf off, Uzumaki."

Gaara replied coldly. "Hey, that's not very nice, I just wanted to talk. Oh, did you hear, Sasuke's on drugs! And did I tell

you about the time I-" Naruto got emursed in talking for hours, waiting for the earliness to disappate. Until finallly...

"Shut the kcufing kcuf up, Naruto!" Gaara shouted angrily, who ran to the wall and banged his head on the sand shield

repeatedly. "Okaaaay... Well, I was running along, just after Gaara came to save me, and I had to fight Sasu-"

"Attention, the students may now check in." The intercom announced. Gaara stopped banging his head, Naruto shut up,

and Kakashi started walking away. Naruto then took out Soap-on-a-rope, and slung it at Kakashi's feet.

Kakashi, abruptly stopping, looked over at Naruto. "Oh, sorry, Sensei, I must've lost my grip." Naruto said.

"I know you're lying, but I'll let you off... THIS TIME." The last two words were very scary, and Naruto shivered at the thought

of what Kakashi would've done next time.

At the check-in... "Uzumaki Naruto." Naruto groaned. "No, don't tell me your favorite food, YOUR NAME." The person

doing the check-ins said... again. (Naruto is creamed fish-paste.) "MY NAME IS UZUMAKI NARUTO FOR THE LAST TIME!!!"

Naruto shouted. "Yeah, sure. Next!" "Sabaku No Gaara." Responded a familiar voice. "Okay, next!" Came her nasally voice.

"Hikari Anzu." A beautiful girl, about 14, stood before everyone. She had shining blue eyes, wavy, smooth, blonde hair,

a slender body, and a face that made all the guys melt. "Okay. Next!"

"I-i-i-i-inuzuka K-k-k-k-kiba. Yeah, Inuzuka Kiba!" Kiba was stuttering, dumbstruck by Anzu's beauty. "Okay. We're done

with check-in, everybody go to your rooms, your room-mates will be discovered shortly, and there is to be no room-switching.

With that, eveyone shuffled into the elevator, and of course, kiba was shoved next to Anzu. "Hey, what's your name?"

Anzu asked Kiba. "Inuzuka Kiba, yeah, Kiba, uh-huh." Kiba answered, shaking. "What's the cute puppy's name?" She asked,

making Kiba turn scarlet. "Akama-Akamaru, uh, yes, Akamaru." When the elevator stopped moving, and after everybody had gone

to their rooms except for Kiba, Anzu, and Naruto. "Well, seeya Kiba!" Anzu said with a giggle, as she kissed him on the cheek.

Kiba fell to the floor, out cold. Later...

"Kiba-kun, are you alright?" It was Hinata, who was checking his vital signs with Byakugan. "Ugh... What happened?"

Kiba asked. "Anzu said you passed out. She saved your life, you know, giving you mouth-to-mouth and all." Hinata replied.

Kiba stood up. "Mouth...to...mouth." He muttered. "Oh, uh, bye Hinata-chan! I need to get to my room." Kiba ran to his room

fast, overcome with joy. But when he got to his room... not so joyful.

"Naruto, please don't tell me you're my room-mate." Kiba said, despairingly. "Sorry, I don't feel like lying." Naruto

said. "So, who was it?" Naruto inquired. "What?" Kiba looked very confused. "You have lipstick on your face, Kiba." Naruto

stated, kind of annoyed. "Oh, Anzu. I need to wash this off." Kiba tried to digress, by washing his face. "What was it like?"

Naruto asked, still curious. "I was unconcious, and she gave me CPR." Kiba said, trying to avoid the subject again.

"Whatever." Naruto said, finally leaving Kiba alone.

Gaara was standing in the balcony outside his room, staring into space. His room-mate never showed, so he was alone.

It was far past curfew, but he couldn't sleep. Shukaku was long gone, but Gaara's insomnia stayed.

Gaara, getting very bored, went to his bed, and began to write:

The sun, the sun,

shining bright during day.

Man lives its life,

but Animal hides away.

The moon, the moon,

Glowing ominously at night.

When Man takes its rest,

and when Animal basks in the cool light.

Gaara, staring strangely at his writing, started to feel weak, no, tired, and, he, for the first time in his life, slept

peacefully.

The next day, everyone had gotten up, and were in their first class. "So, manipulsting Chakra to a fine amount and

releasing it from your mouth in a needle-like form, depending on the seal you use, you will spit, for example, flaming

needles. Now you try, but raise your hand first. Sakura shot her hand up, and performed water needles perfectly. then Gaara,

who cheated and pretended to make the sand needles. Then Sasuke, who kept accidentally using Pheonix fire Jutsu. Then Rock

Lee, who was simply allowed to throw Senbon at the target, which he hit dead-on.

Then, class was over, and everyone went to lunch. When everyone left, and arrived at the cafeteria, Kiba, Gaara, Naruto,

Chouji, Shikamaru, Sasuke, Neji, and Lee were at a table, and Hinata, Ino, Anzu, Sakura, and Temari were at a table, and

Kankurou was by himself.

At the boys table, Sasuke finally asked: "Do anybody room-mates do anything weird? In my case, Shikamaru snores loudly."

Then Lee: "Chouji eats in his sleep." Then Neji: "Kankurou makes his puppets act out his dreams." Then Kiba, who could barely

restrain laughter: "Naruto has dirty thoughts about Hinata in his sleep." This comment made Neji spew his milk, drenching

the rest of his food.

"I do not!" Naruto exclaimed. Then Kiba, in the most mocking tone he could muster, retorted. "Oh, Hinata-chan, Ooooh,

yeah. Uuuuuh." Kiba said, bursting into laughter. "Wait 'till I tell Hinata! That'll be a laugh!" Kiba laughed more.

"No! I'll pay you Kiba! Money! M-O-N-E-Y!" Naruto begged. "M...O...N...E...Y... Naruto, Monkeys have nothing to do with

this!" Kiba stated. "Naruto, I don't want to tell her, I want YOU to ask Hinata out!" Kiba was smart enough for black-mail,

but not much else. "Fine, okay, I'll do it. Just. Don't. Tell. T-e-l-l." Naruto said. "Naruto, hell has nothing to do with

this!" Kiba exclaimed.

Naruto, with a sudden burst of courage, dragged himself up towards Hinata. "Um, Hinata." Naruto Started. He felt a lump

in his throat, preventing him to say it. "Y-Yes?" Hinata asked. "Well, I was wondering if you want to go ou-" Naruto was

cut off. "Attention, the second class starts now." Came the nasally voice from the intercom.

"Tihs, I'm late!" NAruto shouted as he took his scrolls and ran for class.

A/N: As you may have guessed, those words you don't understand are cuss words/swares spelled backwards.

(I feel South Park comin' on!)

IN the 2nd class, the teacher asked: "What's 20 plus 568?"

Then Naruto answered: "20,568."

"How about an answer from someone who isn't a complete retard?"

Then Tenten. "588, and Naruto, you kcufin' retard."

"You're only callin' me a reatard 'cause you're a kcufin' jew!"

Gasps

"Naruto, did you just say the F word?"

"What, jew?"

"No, kcuf, you kcufin' fatssa!"

"INO!"

"Kcuf!"

"TENTEN!"

"This's so kcufin' troublesome..."

"SHIKAMARU!"

"Aw, kcuf, kcuf, kcufity-kcuf-kcuf, it's not gonna' hurt anybody."

"Naruto, would you like to go to the office?"

"Would you like to suck my balls?"

Gasps

"What did you say?"

Turns on microphone.

"I said, would you like to suck my balls, Mr. Ishitama."

Jaws drop in horror  
(That never happened, but I felt like writing it.)

In the ACTUAL second class, the teacher merely droned on about rules.

Then, school was out and they were released to their rooms. When Sakura went to her room, there was her stuff, packed.

And sombody else's unpacked. Then that person, Temari, left the closet."Oh, hey Sakura. Your stuff is right there, as you

know. Sorry, I don't want to either, but there was a room change. You have the one at the very end of the hall. You won't

believe who's already in it." The last few words were muttered, and Sakura didn't hear them.

She took her stuff, laid it on her bed, unpacked everything, and wondered why her room-mate wasn't there.

But then she realized she, no, HE, was there, silent at the balcony.

There stood none other than Sabaku No Gaara.

"What are you doing, here, Sakura?" He scowled. "There was a room change, believe me, I don't like it either." She

replied. "Of course you don't, noone wants to be near the monster that they know could kill at any second."

"Gaara, Shukaku's gone,so I don't know why anyone would treat you like that." "But they do, YOU do, you avoid me, try to

say away from me. Just like everyone else." "Maybe it's because you aren't that pleasant to be around. Constantly brooding,

thinking about your tragic past, and you hate takling to people, and you never just laugh for once." Gaara smirked.

"Were you describing me or Sasuke?" Gaara retorted. "But he's different-" "Of course, because girls find him attractive,

he's cool and collective, and has some "Bad-ssa ambition"." The last two words in a mocking tone. "But Sasuke saw his parents'

death, he was tortured to the point of begging for mercy, and he was just a little kid when that happened." Sakura stated.

"Well, I had 16 assassanation attempts, all failed, one of the assailants, the only person who ever "Loved" me.

I occasionally get possessed by the demon inside of me, People shunned me, my 9 suicide attempts all failed because of this..

"Shield." It only protects me from pain to the skin, but inside it tortures me. And this Kanji for "Love" on my forehead,

this was no love, it merely covers Shukaku's seal. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT IT'S LIKE!?!?!?!!" Gaara was practically

shrieking towards the end.

"Love is an illusion, a joke, it isn't real. Just something people use to cover up shameful acts."

"That's not true! I loved Sasuke, but he never loved me back.-" "Fool. If you believe in love you will definately fall behind,

fail, lose." "SHUT UP!" Sakura screamed."Say. That. Again." Gaara was absolutely enraged. "I told you to shut up, you bastard.

"Why, you..." "Gaara, you have nothing on me." She said calmly as she circled him. "But I have everything on you."

She put her hand on Gaara's shoulder, which made him freeze up. She then clenched a fist and hit him into the wall,

and the Sand Shield was a little late. "I don't need speed to fool the shield, you see."

After their long argument, Sakura and Gaara finally went to sleep.

The next day, at breakfast... (Table I: Sakura, Naruto, Hinata, Kankurou, . TII: Everyone else.)

"Konichiwa, Sakura-chan!" Naruto exclaimed jovially. "Kankurou, why isn't Gaara awake?" Hinata asked.

"Well, not sleeping a wink for 15 and 1/2 years makes it easy to sleep in, I'm sure." Kankurou replied. "Um... Hinata?

Would you like to, Ya' know... Go on a Da-" "AAAGH!!!" Someone screamed. Everyone silenced. A man with a dark purple leg

appeared, and looked like he'd been Mangekyou Sharingan-tortured. "A medic, please!" The man collapsed. The Teacher-nins

immediately took him away, and the usual noise returned. Then Gaara entered, and he looked... happy? He was smiling, sort of.

He sat down next to Kankurou. "Well, I just learned how pleasant sleep can be, sometimes." Gaara seemed different.

"Hey, Gaara, who chewed you out last night? We heard noise from your room." Neji magically appeared and inquired unto

Gaara. Sakura blushed scarlet. "I don't know what you're talking about, Neji." Gaara replied cooly. "Then what was that

noise?" It was Kiba, who was also there out of the blue. "You and Sakura making-out or something?" Kiba joked.

"'Course not, you kcufing retard!" Sakura slammed kiba into the wall, which was about 50 feet away. "I hope I didn't hurt

Akamaru." Sakura stated.

The classes droned on, nothing important happened.

That night... "So, how was your date with Hinata?" Kiba asked. "Kiba, I haven't even gotten a chance to ask her.

"Whatever, Naruto." Kiba was finally bored. "Gaara, thanks for covering up for me." Sakura thanked him, again. "Just shut up about it." Gaara was jotting something

down, so Sakura looked at it.

I am like the desert:

Rough, unbearable, filled with dark and dirty things.

But she is the oasis water:

Clean, pure, smooth, and-

"It's really good, Gaara." Sakura said while reading it. "It's rude to read something without permission." Gaara said,

trying to get her to leave.  
"Gaara?" Sakura called out. "What?" He said, still writing. "Do you like the Anime Bleach? I know that's kind of a stupid

question, though." Sakura Inquired. "Kankurou would say I'm obsessed." "What do you do for fun?" "I... Watch Bleach, write

Bleach fanfics, read the Bleach manga, and think about the next day. Pretty boring, but it gets your mind off the doom &

gloom of the day." Gaara sighed."Gaara, are you one of those pervy fanfic writers who always writes lemons?" Sakura asked,

simply wanting to know. She knew Naruto was. And Jiraiya.

"No, why would you think that?" Gaara was very confused. "Just a few people I know are like that. Naruto, for example."

Sakura couldn't help but feel strange. She was having a conversation with Sabaku No Gaara, which made her feel uneasy.

Even though Shukaku was gone, she there was something that made her uncomfortable.

A/N: Hello, this is Fighter, and I'd like to say thanks for reading, or even visiting this page.

If you like it, I'll post Ch. II, It was about me?

Fighter McKnight, singing bonkways.


	2. The Serious chapter

Heyo! I know it's been over a year, so I've decided to FINALLY

update Academyalized, noticing JUST NOW that people actually WANT ME

TO. I stabbed myself with a fork yesterday, so I completely forgot about

writing it then. :(

"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"

(Gaara POV)

Urgh, another day. Dammit. ((Yeah, I'm not reversing the swears

anymore. It got annoying.)) I sit up, looking around. It's the same

bland, white dorm, with the same boring... well, everything. Where's

my pants? I think I- yeah, I'm naked. I don't like where this is going.

Sakura's already gotten up and left, so I get out of bed and

stretch out. The door better be locked, 'cuz if some retard comes in

now, I'd probably just kill myself. I have enough problems.

I trudge over to the closet, about to fall asleep on my feet.

I open the door, and something seems off. Really off.

My clothes are gone, replaced with about ten pairs of bright

red lingerie. Fuck my life.

(Naruto POV)

"You just got punk'd!" I yell, busting the door open. Shikamaru,

Kiba, Kankuro, Lee and Sasuke are all laughing their asses off.

"Hey, Gaara," Sasuke starts, between bouts of laughter, "We

got ALL of that on tape." This is too rich!

"Shut the hell up!" Gaara yells. Not good. Sand's whirling

around his body, his eyes narrowed.

"Fine, here's your clothes." Shikamaru throws a lump of clothes

at Gaara, who just throws on some loose clothes and walks off, leaving

most of the clothes behind.

(Hinata's POV)

I'm in the cafeteria, with Ino, Sakura, and all the other girls.

just talking about stupid stuff.

"Hey, Hinata!" Ino exclaims, staring wide-eyed at me. "We should

have a wet T-shirt contest! What do you think, eh?"

"Um, I guess so, I don't know- sure." Dammit, I can't think

straight!

"Nice! All right, ladies, let's go ahead and take off our bras.

We'll have the contest in three hours!" I think Ino's drunk.

"Why three hours?" Anzu asks.

"BECAUSE YOU IS HEADCRAB ZOMBIE!!!" Kankuro screams. We all

turn around to see the guys walking down into the cafeteria.

Gaara looks pissed. Naruto looks- like Naruto. Lee looks retarded.

Kankuro looks gay. Shikamaru looks smart. Kiba looks bored. Finally,

Sasuke looks like he's dead.

"Hey, guys!" Anzu is standing up, waving at the guys. Little

did she know, her shirt was up from she took off her bra. Undoubtedly,

those were the most powerful nosebleeds in the history of the world.

(Anzu's POV)

Fuck! I pull my shirt down, and look around. Everyone's staring

at me. This sucks. Relax. Chocobos, Firaga, Undead. Yeah, I'm secretly

a gamer. Why did this just happen? Seriously, this is almost as bad as

the time I slipped and fell on my cousin. At a family reunion. With

four-hundred people. Convinced, of course, that I was raping him or

something. I think that was- no, this is worse. Now everyone's going to

think I'm a slut.

"Everybody run! They're attacking!" Everybody starts running,

except for me. I want to see what's going on.

A man bursts through the school's wall.

"I am Gator! Fear my wrath!" He isn't wearing anything except a

loincloth. Gross. God, those muscles are creepy.

"Shut up, loser!" I yell, running up. Ya! Just focus. Concentrate

water chakra there, then change the form to a whip, then- yes! Ike!

"Suiton: Water Lash!" I whip "Gator" repeatedly, leaving

almost sword-like gashs.

"Ha! I can withstand all your attacks, no matter what the pain!"

"I'm sure you could," I say, "But- this water is laced with a

powerful neurotoxin, which should be killing you within the next ten

seconds. My advice: Pray to god for forgiveness, because I don't carry

antidotes." Gator flinches for a moment, then collapses.

What a fucking day.

"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"

What'cha think? Not bad for waiting so long, I hope. I'll even update my

profile soon! 


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